Universe worked in my favor! My sis is sick! No Awedaddy’s tonight! Hate she’s sick, however, I’m relieved. But then she followed it up with, “we will go to the next one, mark my words.” But next time isn’t tonight! 


Sometimes I hate being a woman… it’s Tuesday and I feel like hell. No gym today. I’ll resume in the A.M.

Had a great time at the Renaissance Fair with everyone! 

One of the worse mistakes you can make, is making a life altering decision based on impulsivity, expectations, confusion, guilt and/or pressure. Because it will eventually catch up to you. And then the icing on the cake is realizing all that you missed out on because instead of truly living for yourself, you lived for others whether it’s a person, expectation or demand. You gotta go after what lights you up and stays.. and not out of obligation but out of something that truly lights your soul on fire whenever you think of it. Hard lesson to learn… but the older you get, the clearer that concept becomes.  

You are missed in general. Even just on a friendly level because I respect where you’re at. I’m sad but I respect… But damn on another note, I might take a tour of the new gym that’s coming in or the one across the street.. I may dislike them more and stay here, but we will see. But these machines man…
✌🏼

I hate how they changed the gym around and the machines are so awkward for someone who’s short… not a good way to close off an already shitty week. But excited to go out with one of my best friends tonight to watch one of our other friends shred the stage.. he called me up and said “I have a feeling you need to go out and blow off some steam..” boy.. he has no clue. Thankful for my people.
 🖤


Sad day. Wish you the best..
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It’s 11:14pm on Saturday… I’m sitting outside still at my best friends place… out on their back porch… I’ve got the string lights plugged in and kicking back with my fur baby while everyone is already asleep. This week has been in its own category… and even though it brought its challenges, it was still fulfilling in so many good ways. I made life changing realizations, I got a lot done for work, I had two song writing appointments, one turned into more of a therapy session but then one of my best friends, Jesse, came by and he and I wrote a killer tune, has a gritty Metallica vibe with a haunting melody. Found a killer swimsuit, got a major compliment and offer by a Theatre Company. met with my producer to make plans for the newer songs I wrote and now I’m winding down from going with everyone to the drive-in theatre to see “Michael”. Great time… but this is a perfect way to end the night.. so peaceful.
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Been staying with my best friends this last week. They’re wanting me to move in seeing its no longer peaceful where I currently live…but being here is so peaceful. Been using their back deck a lot at night and it’s been so nice. Zen. 
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House/dog sitting…it’s so beautiful out here.. so peaceful… reminds me of where I grew up in Michigan… be better if I had some company to enjoy it with.. everyones either busy or out of town.. but it’s all good.. still enjoying it. But on another note, the dogs are definitely loving their auntie and fur cousin being here! Spoiled asses. 

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Love hanging out with my people. I just sat there today and was like, man… I’m so honored to know these people. I can’t even begin to explain how thankful I am for them. 
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When one of your best friends calls and says “hey, we're at my daughter's softball practice right down the road from you… and someone brought a baby goat… you need to get here because you're going to fall in love!” You drop everything and head to the field! haha! Once I got there I was like “give me that baby!” haha!! Omg! Loretta is the CUTEST thing!! My heart just melted! 
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Something I do when trying to bounce back from hard times.. I push myself to do a solid morning routine… I meditate for at least 10 minutes, but preferably more… if you can't meditate then just sit in silence and observe your thoughts… let them pass by… if you start feeling anxious then think of a word that has absolutely no meaning but has resonance.. my word that I use is “hum”… so if your thoughts become too much just repeat the word in your mind to re-center… also, breath work… I'm telling you, it definitely helps regulate your nervous system.. again, at least 10 minutes… stretch, stretch, stretch, it gets your blood pumping… self care, healthy food and a physical outlet… and get some sunshine, get your hands or feet in the dirt… I'm telling ya, it helps. You've got this! No doubt!
✌🏼

at my friend’s kid’s softball tournament and I’m like on the edge of my seat! 🤣🤣

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Just left Vegas! What a great trip! I may post photos after I get home or in the next couple days. 🤓

This has been such an amazing work trip. I’ve made some really solid contacts. I was treated to dinner and drinks with one of the major contacts and then invited to their private party tonight. This was worth all the craziness I had to go through to get here. Best part? My dad is at my side. We built this… him and I.  I simply can not believe where we are today with it. What an epic team we make. So proud of the both of us because we have worked our asses off. But having a celebratory margarita on the patio before we have a pool day with another contact. But with recent developments, I had to change my flight. I’ll be back to my usual on Thursday.  First time in Vegas.. I’ll never forget this trip. But ready to get home to be with my people and especially my fur daughter! God, I miss my baby. 
 

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Comfy clothes, messy hair, a cup of tea, a recliner with a soft blanket,  watching hockey with some of my chosen family and making myself a scarf… yea. Comfy and peaceful. 
About to doordash some breakfast. 
Bliss.

———————
 ****The Song Playing Louder Than Most  for Me****
“Here I Go Again” By: Whitesnake
All Current and Past “Song Playing Louder Than Most” are Under the Music Tab
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This is a prequel for a song, (probably one of my top favorites) that’s ready for vocals but the feeling of it has resurfaced lately due to something I witnessed. 

(Don’t get it twisted… I’m not trashy and immature…but I am a strong woman who will stand her ground and take action if need be…)

I have a long fuse. I don't care if people come for me because frankly, I don't give a shit. But come for those I care about, that fuse gets short real quick.
All I got to say is if someone puts their hands on someone I care about, better not let me or mine find out. 
By saying that, let me be clear, theres a difference between trying to come off as a loud hard ass 
…and silently knowing you're a Badass. 
Because knowing your strengths and capabilities isn't vain or a bad thing… its just truth.
You can blame it on the blood that runs through my veins.
 Or you can blame it on whats right is right and whats wrong is wrong. 
If you want to blame my bloodline, just know that bloodline
extends to many who are exactly the same way as I am.
We're trained with experience
.. and we won't sit long.
So if I were you,
 I would keep my hands to myself..
Just sayin..
Food for thought. 

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Great end to such a busy day… chinese takeout from PF Changs, an oldie but a goodie “Sixteen Candles” with Molly Ringwald playing, some self pampering and my heated blanket. Bliss. 
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Wish me luck tomorrow! First appointment towards healing my voice and getting back in the studio. Can't wait to truly sing again, its been long enough!
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“What if I say, I’m not like the others?” 
(lyric from “Pretender” By: Foo Fighters

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A quote I read at my Chiropractor's office that really sat with me..
 “If you really want to know where you heart is, look to where your mind goes when it wanders.”
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NEW Survey in the “Get to Know Me” section… boredom made that happen haha

Update on Single Release: Theres been a hold up on my new single due to vocal tension. But I do have an older song that is ready that I may release instead, just to start the momentum. I have an appointment with Vanderbilt Voice Center early December to orchestrate a plan of action to heal my vocals and I simply can't wait! I have at least a handful of songs that are ready and just waiting for my vocals and they are absolutely KILLER, probably my best work yet.

Well Dave… today it has truly hit… the song that reminds me so much of you, came on… I bawled all the way home from Sprouts in Murfreesboro… my heart hurts.. its not fair… you should still be here… mom and dad should still have their son, your kids should still have their dad and I should still have my brother… I hate the things you've missed out on, what we have all missed out on… life just isn't the same without you. I just… man, I just want to jump in my car and drive and just keep driving… but I know I cant and I know you would come at me and say, “Hey now! Do you realize the last name you carry? You're not weak, you're the strongest person I know.. you're my sister, and we're warriors, remember?! Feel it, process it and grow from it.. I believe in you sis, just as much as I love you…” Like I can literally hear you in my head.. maybe it is you.. I miss you, I miss your pep talks… your hugs… and how you would stop at nothing to have my back… I'm just so in my feels today… I wish I could call you and be like “can I bitch for a second?” I want you back so bad… I love you, Dave… and I'm still so incredibly proud to be your little, very little (hahaha) sister.
 

I'm tired. I'm tired of rude people, I'm tired of people acting like a victim when they aren't. I'm tired of people lying for their own selfish gain. I'm tired of people who feel they are entitled. Entitled to do what they want without any concern for others, entitled to cut you off just for the hell of it, entitled to anything and everything... I'm tired of people hiding behind masks… I'm tired of people forcing kids to grow up so quickly.. I'm tired of people who think they are right about everything and if you disagree with them then you must be an idiot, because they are the know all be all.. I'm tired of people being angry all the damn time. I'm tired of people being shady. I'm tired of people letting something good walk away because they can't realize whats in front of them….  I'm tired of people projecting and gaslighting just to make themselves look better. I'm tired of people looking down on you if you don't live the way they do. I'm tired of women compeating with other women. I'm tired of the world catering to assholes. I'm tired of our stupid ass justice system. I'm tired of people having issues with people just because they don't look like them or have the same skin color, the same riches, the same goals… I'm just tired of shitty freaking people. And Im tired of the good guys coming in last while the shitty ones stear clear of consequences.
I'm tired.

***Maybe it wont go away because its not meant to. Maybe you need to re-evaluate from what is comfortable and go towards what lights you up. And maybe just maybe you will look back and be like Damn, Im so happy I did. I'm so happy I took the opportunity that was right in front of me because now I can't imagine my life without it. Maybe just maybe you might fall so in love with life from a simple opportunity or encounter that everything that was comfortable before seems too little now because you were meant for something greater, something more electrifying, something more passionate. But only you can make that move in life's game of chess. You are one decision away from living your best story yet. Dont' let fear or doubt deter you from growing and elevating.

 

East Bowl “Honky Tonk” Night with my music fam bam!!!!